I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
