we have officially lost it.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
