Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
