do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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