I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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