Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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