i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
