Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize