that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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