its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
