guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize