I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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