This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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