Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
