My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Come on in and take your pants off
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