Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
