the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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