The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
