I want to walk on stilts...naked
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
