Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
