If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
