I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
