Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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