Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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