Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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