after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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