Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize