great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
