All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i think my cat just said my name.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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