I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
