it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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