She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
