if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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