I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
