At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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