i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
