never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
