we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
