it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
