***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
