Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize