We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize