I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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