i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
