You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
