talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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