I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
