we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize