The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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