Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
