just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Drunk is not a location!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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