arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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