We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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