this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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