Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think my vagina is haunted
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
