I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
