She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
