thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
