no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize