wake up i wanna do it froggy style
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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