Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
