I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
