wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
True strength comes from lack of pants
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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