I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
