oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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