guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
