did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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