your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
