We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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