He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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