they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i think i have herpe
just one?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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