hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
