Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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