How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
