i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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