Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Yo dont text me then not text me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
