My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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