there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
