so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
