they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
